I’m not sure how to write about what I am feeling… I have some sort of lingering discomfort and I’d like to talk about it.
It feels like an ache inside, in my heart and head, a kind of discomfort of life. It’s as if something is missing, but at the same time I have everything I want. I’m even working on a project that I’m proud of, I’m advancing in my career and I’m having a great time with my friends and family.
But yet, there is like a void, or not necessarily a void, but rather a dark or corrupted space within.
I imagine it as a ball of dark energy that evolves over time. Sometimes it’s stronger, and sometimes it’s weaker, but it’s constantly active.
And then I also have a ball of light that is the same. Sometimes you would think that your emotional state is either happy or sad, but for me it seems like the two often manifest together.
I have like a part of me that can love, be cheerful, live, and another part that wants to sleep, pass the time, and not enjoy anything.
I wish everything I do would make me happy most of the time, but unfortunately it doesn’t. That’s why I’m trying to work on my gratitude, giving to others, and also trying to spend a lot more time with the people who are important and who bring me happiness.
Maybe at the end of it all I’ll be able to feel good, or maybe just less bad.
Thanks!
Photo by Gabriela Palai: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-standing-on-brown-wooden-dock-395196/
